Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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