I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
