You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
