apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
