we made out on top of his cat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
