so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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