Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
