Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
