Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
