Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
