did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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