Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
