I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We left the knife in your bed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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