Umm I'm too high to move.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
