Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
