He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
