I don't usually arrange sex via text message
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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