I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
