..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My ATM looks so different sober.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
