My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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