At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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