i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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