YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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