Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
home. puking in laundry basket.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
