if you like me you must not know who I am
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
