It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
