I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
