I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
