some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
