i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
