...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
