and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
