i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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