Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
there is glitter all over my balls
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