On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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