Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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