Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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