in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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