And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
