As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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