I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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