lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
