my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
