Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Everyone says I win the strip club
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
