What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
