I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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