And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
