she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
