I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We need to get me chipped asap
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
