Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
