does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
