her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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