ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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